Honor the victim of the Newtown Elementary School tragedy by remembering their names

Below are the names of the victims of the elementary school shooting in Newtown, CT.  We are all grieving and searching for a way to honor them.  We can do so by praying for their families, the Newtown community and for the safety of all our children.  We can also help by ALWAYS remembering these innocent angels.  Please select a name to remember and always carry in your heart.

The names and birth dates of the victims:

Charlotte Bacon (2/22/06), 6 years old, female

Daniel Barden (9/25/05), 7 years old, male

Rachel Davino (7/17/83), Staff member, 29 years old, female

Olivia Engel (7/18/06), 6 years old, female

Josephine Gay (12/11/05), 7 years old, female

Ana M. Marquez-Greene (4/4/06), 6 years old, female

Dylan Hockley (3/8/06), 6 years old, male

Dawn Hochsprung (6/28/65), Principal, 47 years old, female

Madeleine F. Hsu (7/10/06), 6 years old, female

Catherine V. Hubbard (6/8/06), 6 years old, female

Chase Kowalski (10/31/05), 7 years old, male

Nancy Lanza, 52 years old, female (mother of shooter Adam Lanza)

Jesse Lewis (6/30/06), 6 years old, male

James Mattioli (03/22/06), 6 years old, male

Grace McDonnell (11/4/05), 7 years old, female

Anne Marie Murphy (7/25/60), Staff member, 52 years old, female

Emilie Parker (05/12/06), 6 years old, female

Jack Pinto (05/05/06), 6 years old, male

Noah Pozner (11/20/06), 6 years old, male

Caroline Previdi (9/07/06), 6 years old, female

Jessica Rekos (5/10/06), 6 years old, female

Avielle Richman (11/17/06) 6 years old, female

Lauren Rousseau (June 1982), Staff member, 30 years old, female

Mary Sherlach (2/11/56), Staff member, 56 years old, female

Victoria Soto (11/04/85), Staff member, 27 years old, female

Benjamin Wheeler (09/12/06), 6 years old, male

Allison N. Wyatt (07/03/06), 6 years old, female

Please pass the names  of these angels on to others for prayer and remembrance.  God bless these angels and their families.

Newtown Elementary School Tragedy: When Will There Be A Safe Place For Our Children

I'm searching my mind for an appropriate prayer but there is none. Our bodies are fragile and sometimes our minds are fragile. It is hard to confidentially move forward following this elementary school tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut that claimed so many lives.  My heart is heavy and there is a sinking feeling in my stomach.  It feels like there is no safe place for our children.

Last night my son was crying because the spaghetti on his plate was touching the peas so he didn't want to eat it.  Normally, this would prompt a stern warning to stop being silly and just eat but I just hugged him. It reminded me that these beautiful children who died were young and innocent with no real worries; they just wanted to learn and play and be loved.  They want to exist in a safe space.  Every child should be guaranteed these very basic wishes.  Our hearts are mourning for these innocent children, their teachers and their parents.  Please share your thoughts and prayers.

Poem: My Heaven

My Heaven

by Janet Autherine

I believe in heaven but

If this life ends and there is no mansion in the sky and

I just return to the dirt when whence I came,

I want ashes to ashes, dust to dust to be a song of joy and revival.

In this life

My heart gave more love than it could contain

My soul was a conduit for spiritual and physical love and harmony

My mind expanded beyond the text books to the endless possibilities of the universe

My hands reached out indiscriminately to help family, friends and strangers

My body was a vessel to be treasured but not an obsession

My feet were never too tired to dance or run the last mile.

You see, I have always been in my heaven but now I am one with the earth again.

Grass happily grows on me without the need for fertilizers

Roses and hibiscus plants flourish and bloom beautiful flowers in my soil

Organic vegetables thrive as nature intended and nourish the world

Happy couples sit on a bench over me and feel the love that I carried inside of me

The elderly are comforted even knowing that they may be joining me soon

My loved ones rub me between the palm of their hands and find peace.

A well-lived life on earth is the beginning of my heaven.

©Janet Autherine but please feel free to share with attribution.

A Virtuous Woman and Mother

This past Sunday, I read Proverbs 31 in its entirety for the first time in many years.  Although some of it would be considered "dated", it is a beautiful piece that reads like a song.  Below are the words that inspire me the most.

"Who can find a virtuous and capable woman?

She is more precious than rubies.

She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.

She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night.

She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy.

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.

When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.

She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness.

Her children stand and bless her.

There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.

Reward her for all she has done.

Let her deeds publicly declare her praise."  Proverbs 31: Excepts from the New Living Translation.

This describes many of the women and mothers that I know. They are strong, hardworking and always ready to extend a helping hand to her family, a friend or a stranger.  There is rarely any public reward; the reward is in a child's smile, a hug from a grateful stranger or the silent whisper of "well done" that God places in our hearts.  You may not feel strong or wise or even kind every day.  You may even want to flee from the term, virtuous but on your best day, you are all the above and so much more.  Claim it for yourself and one day you may be surprised to receive a very sincere, "You are the best mom, ever!" compliment from the child who you think is not fully engaged. 

Is there a bible verse, a poem or a song that inspires you as a woman or a mother?  Please share it with us.

40s - Time of Self-discovery and Self-realization

A few months ago, I told my mother that I had taken an action based on her advice.  I actually thought that it would make her happy to hear that I still listen to her and respect her advice.  I was surprised to hear her say, "You are a grown woman now; you make your own decisions!"  What?  When did that happen?

In your 40s, your life rests squarely on your own shoulders.  The time to blame others for your problems or your parents for a less than ideal childhood is long gone.  Friends have their own challenges and don't have time for the long heart to heart talks that we use to have in our 30s.

I will be honest, the past year has been challenging.  My father and my beloved cat Rudy passed away.  I went through the stress of negotiating the purchase of a new house and moving.  My family was in a pretty scary car accident that totaled my car and then I made an impulse purchase of a new car that wasn't the right fit for our family.  I was blindsided by major family drama.  Finally, like many Americans, we are going through the stress of a job loss.  The years when I was just juggling work with raising three active boys now seemed pretty easy.   But isn't that what life in your 40s is about?  It is a time of great joys and great disappointments and everything that we have learned in the past 40 years is tested. 

I now see the 40s as a time of reflection, self-discovery and self-realization.  Here are a few things that I have learned over the past  birthday year.

1. What I know for sure is that I do not know anything for sure but based on my life experiences, I do have confidence in a few things.  I am confident that there is a God and that love can solve almost every problem that we face. 
2. We have to understand the past to make sense of our present.  Trace your roots and speak to your elders about their experiences.
3. I am optimistic about life and sometimes my head is in the clouds. I can live with that; it is pretty up there.
4. You might as well embrace your parents because we either marry a version of our parents or we become them as we get older.
5. Death is final; only our memories remain, so make good memories.
6. When someone that you love dies, you only remember the good times. Try to focus on their good qualities when they are alive.
7. Behind anger and hate is pain and fear.  Keep that in mind when you are angry at someone or someone is angry at you.  Try to dig deeper.
8. Not everyone will agree with you; that does not mean that they are wrong.  You may be dealing with someone whose reality is just very different from yours.  
9. If you lose your way in love, stop, breathe, center yourself and take direction from your heart.
10. Create your own family with the people who consistently show you love through words and deeds.
11. It is possible to feel both love and pain in places within you that you didn't even know existed.
12. We were perfectly made by a wonderful God. We all have a purpose.  Our natural tendency is to love; every negative energy is unnatural and will eat away at our soul if we don't let go of it.
13. When you are feeling down, see your way out by helping or inspiring someone else.

Every day is another opportunity to learn and grow.  We have a wealth of knowledge and we are blessed with  a healthy range of emotions, however, we are just raindrops in the sea of life.  Embrace the joys and the disappointments; there is so much more to discover.  I step into 43, somewhat nervously.  I am hoping for a smooth ride this year but whatever happens, I am ready to own it and learn all that I can from the experiences that life brings.