Boys and Guns: How do you feel about kids playing with toy guns?

Do you allow your kids to play with toys guns? In the wake of the Tucson violence, many parents are having a conversation with their kids about guns.  Where does a non-violent society start? Is taking away our kids toy guns, swords and laser beams an overreaction? I don't like to hear the boys running around trying to shoot each other, even if it is just play, so we just keep guns of all kind out of our house. The boys don't care because there are so many other fun toys to keep them engaged. Every parent has to do what is right for their home and child. This is not an opportunity to judge but an opportunity to provide constructive comments and thoughts. Below is an excerpt from an article by Bethany Hardy on Boys and Guns, What's a Parent to Do.

"Here are six things parents can do to ensure that a child’s interest in toy guns doesn’t get out of hand:

1. Talk with your kids.
   Instead of talking at your son about guns (“Guns are dangerous!” “Don’t do that!”) talk with him. His understanding of guns is probably less sophisticated than you think.
2. Limit your child’s exposure to violence on TV or in video games.
   “I think exposure to violence on TV or video games should be a greater concern to parents than gun play,” says Weiner. “Repeated exposure has been demonstrated in studies to desensitize kids to violence. It is important to limit this exposure, especially in younger kids.”
3. Monitor, don’t necessarily prohibit, your child’s gun play.
   As long as playing with toy guns doesn’t dominate a child’s time, it’s okay to let him explore it, says Weiner—provided a parent or trusted adult is watching.
4. If you’re going to buy a toy gun, make sure it really looks like a toy.
   I try to limit the toy guns we have in our house to those that look nothing like real guns—the more colorful, the better.
5. Encourage “target practice.”
   Achieving the simple goal of hitting a target with a foam-ball gun can be extremely satisfying for an active little boy, and it helps develop hand-eye coordination to boot.
6. Teach proper gun safety.
   This one may seem like a no-brainer, but it’s worth pointing out: if you choose to have real guns in your home, it’s imperative to help your children understand and respect their power."

Here is the complete article.  http://www.pbs.org/parents/raisingboys/aggression05.html

Please add your comments and suggestions for parents.

Reactions to 3 year old suspended for too many potty accidents

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A few months ago, I wrote about the pressures that I felt to potty train my almost 3 year old because his daycare didn't want to move him to the 3 year old class until he was fully potty trained. I decided to just let him stay a few more weeks with the 2 1/2 year old kids because I didn't want to pressure him before he was ready. I know that when kids are pushed prematurely, they end up acting out. Have you ever found your child hiding behind the sofa or in a corner because he wants to find a quiet place to poop in peace? I know that some babies are potty trained at 18 months but not my boys. I give them instruction and encouragement and then let them go at their own pace. Even with that laid back attitude, the pressure from outside sources can intrude and make the process very stressful.  Below is one mother's experience, recently published in the Washington Post.
 I have also posted a link to the comments. You may be surprised by the position taken by the majority of those who commented on the article.

"Zoe Rosso, who is 3 years old, likes to bake brownies with her mom, go to tumbling class and make up elaborate worlds with tiny plastic animals and dolls. Like many children her age, she sometimes has difficulty making it to the toilet on time.  That's why she was suspended from her preschool. For a month.

Arlington Public Schools' Montessori preschool at Claremont Elementary "removed" Zoe in December, asking her parents not to bring her back to school for a month, or until the child learned not to have any more "accidents.""

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/01/29/AR2011012903854.html?nav=hcmodule

http://blog.washingtonpost.com/story-lab/2011/01/blowback_story_about_potty_tra.html

Posted by BoysRising http://www.boysrising.blogspot.com

5 Ways Kids Can Serve Communities

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If you are looking for ways to get your kids involved in the community, below is the repost of a nice article that I found at www.pbs.org.  Our kids are always watching us, so we if demonstrate love and kindness to our neighbors, they will do as we do.

"The best way to instill a commitment to service is to start at home. Encouraging small acts of kindness, like helping a family member who has had a rough day or caring for a pet, can teach even the smallest children the power of caring. As children grow, you can help them develop empathy and support good causes with these five tips:

1. Give kids a vote.
   Sit down as a group and discuss whether there are any individuals, organizations or causes that you are especially interested in helping. What talents and skills do you and your children have that will be most beneficial to them? Even small acts, like donating extra food and blankets to the animal shelter, will have meaning for children, if they choose the cause.  The best way to instill a commitment to service is to start at home. Encouraging small acts of kindness, like helping a family member who has had a rough day or caring for a pet, can teach even the smallest children the power of caring. As children grow, you can help them develop empathy and support good causes with these five tips: Give kids a vote. Sit down as a group and discuss whether there are any individuals, organizations or causes that you are especially interested in helping. What talents and skills do you and your children have that will be most beneficial to them? Even small acts, like donating extra food and blankets to the animal shelter, will have meaning for children, if they choose the cause." Read more.

5 Benefits to Being Sick

I am up at 5a.m. because I went to bed at 8p.m. last night. This would never happen if I was in good health, so I started thinking about the benefits of being sick.  My brain is still foggy at this time of the morning, so thankfully, it didn't require much thought. Here are my top 5.

1. Increased ability to prioritize. Instead of spending the day doing 10 things, I identify the most important thing and try to accomplish it first because I may be in bed for the next 6 hours.
2. More time with the family. Last week when the baby had pink eye, the two of us spent our evenings closed off in a room together because I didn't want the other kids to get sick. We had the best time! We laughed and played and rolled around on the floor together and bonded in a major way.
3. Weight loss. Who doesn't want to lose that baby bump. Not being able to keep food down and surviving on lemon tea and soup has its benefits.
4. A much needed day off. Every time that I am home sick I wonder why I don't take a day off more often.  It is lovely to be home on a Wednesday with no distractions.
5. Sleep. It is almost impossible for a mother to get 8 hours of sleep per night. Even when the baby doesn't wake up because he can't find his bottle and the older boys don't crawl into my bed at 2a.m., I always wake up to check on them. I think that my body is programmed to do the 1a.m. "did someone fall out the bed" check but when you are sick, the body demands that you sleep long and often.

I am sure that I could think of a few more benefits but the baby is awake. Add your top 5.

Wellness of Mind, Body and Spirit

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As I type this, I am sick with my 4th cold in 3 months. I really have no concrete explanation, only a few guesses - the kids are in daycare and they bring me every germ known to man, I am not taking enough vitamin C, my stress level is too high, I need to use the hand sanitizer as often as I use my cellphone, although I practically live on vegetables, I am STILL not eating the right mix of foods, and of course, I can blame it on the Orlando weather, which is 79 one day and 48 the next.  My husband sat next to me in my misery and suggested positive affirmations reminiscent of The Game of Life and How to Play it. "Say to yourself, I am fine," he tells me. No, I am NOT fine, my body is aching; I haven't been fine for weeks!  To preserve our marital bliss, I proclaimed "I am fine and this will pass in a day." Thyroid goiter, hyperglycemia, constant colds; I am overwhelmed. Maybe, if I get my mind and spirit in a good place, my body will follow.  Kids don't understand that mommy is under the weather, so I better find the balance to turn this struggling caterpillar into a butterfly for myself and for them.

The body, the mind and the soul all wants to be well, we just need to get out of our own way. Every day is a new day to start on the journey to complete wellness. If you have already started, build upon what you have accomplished. To get inspired, I turned to Dr. Zimmerman, who inspires me each week with his uplifting Tuesday tips. I am sharing his wonderful definition of Wellness

Wellness Is…

knowing what your real needs are and

   how to get them met;

expressing emotions in ways that

   communicate what you are

   experiencing to other people;

acting assertively, and not passively or

   aggressively;

enjoying your body by means of

   adequate nutrition, exercise and

   physical awareness;

being engaged in projects that are

   meaningful to you and reflect your

   most important inner values;

knowing how to create and cultivate

   close relationships with others;

responding to challenges in live as

   opportunities to grow in strength and

   maturity, rather than feeling beset by

   “problems”‘

creating the life you really want, rather

   just reacting to what “seems to

   happen”;

relating to troublesome physical

   symptoms in ways that improve your

   condition and increase your

   knowledge about yourself;

enjoying a basic sense of well-being,

   even through times of adversity;

knowing your own inner patterns -

   emotional and physical – and

   understanding “signals” your body

   gives you;

trusting that your own personal

   resources are your greatest strength

   for living and growing;

experiencing yourself as a Wonderful

   Person.

Pure Poetry!  This year, I am working on acting assertively, enjoying my body by means of exercise, being engaged only in things that are meaningful to me, and for today - relating to troublesome physical symptoms in ways that improves my condition and increases my knowledge about myself.  Are you on a journey to wellness? Share your story.