The Burden of Laundry Inspires a Return to the Simple Life

There is something about laundry that puts everything about life into perspective.  After spending a few hours doing six loads of laundry for my three boys, I started to reminisce about my own childhood growing up in Jamaica. All my clothes could fit in one drawer.  I had two shoes - the first was my school shoes and the second was my "good" shoes.  I wore the good shoes to special occasions, such as weddings, funerals and other special events. 

The same was true for clothes.  There were quite a few dresses that were not worn because they were being saved for a special occasion that did not come. Sometimes, shoes were saved for a special occasion only to find that it no longer fit my growing feet.  I was not alone; most kids in my community were having the same experience. We knew that we didn't have it all but we were grateful for the few things that we could call our own.

How did we handle laundry? Well, that one, maybe two school uniform was hand-washed and pressed a few times per week and I went off to school looking clean, neat and wealthy in spirit.  Conventional wisdom tells us that more material things result in happier kids and a easier life for parents.  If the kids have a different outfit everyday, then the parents will only have to do laundry once per week.  If the kids have more toys, they will be happier.  Well, my kids are blessed with a room filled with toys and they ignore most of them and concentrate on one or two.

The kids return to school in August so August is a great time to return to the simple life.   All the toys that have not been played with over a two week period will be given to charity.  If they only play with a few toys, why not give another child the opportunity to play with the rest.  Recently, I have attended  a few birthday parties where the kids (likely with the nudging of the parents) asked for a donation to their favorite charity or supplies for a charity such as the Ronald McDonald House.   I have mixed feeling about this so I usually bring supplies for the charity and a small gift for the child.  However, I do believe that this is a step in the right direction.

As for clothes, I am seriously considering giving away all but eight days worth of clothes.  We probably do not need more clothes that what we would take on a week's vacation.  Frankly, I don't know if this will make the kids any happier but it will definitely make this mommy's life simpler. 

Letting Go Of Fear And Living A Purposeful Life

I don't enjoy flying. Yes, it gets me to my destination quicker than driving, it is safer than driving and the sky is absolutely beautiful. I don't like flying because I feel powerless. I have just turned my destiny over to a group of strangers. I don't have control of the wheel like I would in a car and when there is severe turbulence, all I can do is sit helplessly and suffer through it. 

Florida has been hit with with heavy rains due to Tropical Storm Debby and there are large puddles of water on every street. However, I am a great driver and I am behind the wheels of a solid car. I am in control. Imagine my surprise when I drove through a puddle of water and my car hydroplaned into the left lane. I felt like I was on a water slide at Disney. I had absolutely no control and just had to let it run its course and then steer back into my lane.  I slowed down and it happened again. Even though I hydroplaned into oncoming traffic, thankfully there were no cars in the left lane. 

There is a lesson in every incident, big or small, good or bad, that happens in our lives. Sometimes we  discover the lesson right away and sometimes it takes weeks or months. Here are a few that I have pondered on over the past week.

1. We have freewill and some control over our lives but God has ultimate control.
2. Don't hydroplane through life; be purposeful about what you say and do.
3. We are fragile beings. We are strong in mind, heart and soul but all are housed in a fragile shell.
4. Say your goodbyes every day, not just in words but by showing love and kindness to those around you.
5. If you are going down the wrong road in life, it is not too late to change course.
6. Rational people can have irrational fears. Just let go of your fears and let your mind soar. 
7. Every day bad things happen to good people. We may get a reprieve but we are not immune.
8. Don't get distracted by the small things, focus on the things that are meaningful to you.
9. Life is not about how long you live; it is about what you do with the dash in between life and death.
10. Love yourself. Love your neighbor. It all starts and ends with love.

I am letting go of my fear of flying. I am controlling the things that I can and leaving the rest to God. What I know for sure is that if I live a purposeful life and focus on the things and the people that are important to me, my life, short or long, will be well-lived.

The Mother's Day Gift Only You Can Give - Inner Peace, Kindness & Charity

A mother = a GOOD mother, at least 90% of the time. Believe it! A bad mother generally means abuse, neglect and systematic unkindness. If this does not describe you, then breathe a sigh of relief, take yourself off the hook for all the parental guilt that you have been carrying and that society has placed on your shoulder and just go back to being the loving mom that you. How many times have you felt insecure about your parenting skills because you missed a program a school, brought store bought, instead of home made cookies to a school function, forgot that it was pajama day at school so your child is the only kid wearing regular clothes, gave you child a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner or have your toddler sleep in the bed with you? We can all spend hours trading stories.

Yes, mistakes will be made in parenting but in most cases the kids will be alright. Ignore all the chatter about moms who work outside the home vs mom who work inside the home or bottle fed babies vs moms who nurse until the chid is six or moms who send their kids to private vs public schools.  This is often useless chatter that just keeps moms feeling needlessly inferior to other moms or with a false sense of superiority. This Mother's day, let us give ourselves the gift of inner peace regarding our parenting choices and offer kindness, not judgment to other mothers who may be struggling or who have made choices that we wouldn't necessarily make.

This post was inspired by one of my favorite bloggers. Kristen wrote writes at Rage Against the Minivan, wrote a wonderful blog entitled, Where is the Mommy - War for the Motherless Child? Please read her post and pass it on to other mothers who are tired of the "mommy wars." There are so many children in need and so much that we can do to help.

http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2012/05/where-is-mommy-war-for-motherless-child.html

As Mother's Day approaches, let us change the conversation. Let us support each other in raising healthy, happy, loving, kind children. Our plates are full, but if we have the time to criticize the choices of other moms and hand-wring about our own choices, then we have the time to lend a helping hand to a child in need. 

Although I am not able to adopt at this point (I hope to do so later), I support children in need through Women to Women International and Compassion International. Take a few minutes to surf the web for a reputable local or international organization that could benefit from the awesome mommy that you already are.  Mother's Day is still a few days away but if we practice claim our inner peace, it can come early for you, a mom who is struggling or even a child who may need someone to call Mom this Mother's day. For a child who needs you, you are a great mom today and everyday.

14 Years of Unconditional Love - My Beloved Pet Rudy

On Sunday, April 15, 2012, my beloved Rudy passed away peacefully in my arms while I rubbed his head. He had an enlarged liver and spleen and had not been eating or drinking much for about 2 weeks. The veterinarian encouraged me to put him to sleep but he wasn't in obvious pain so I couldn't bring do it because if I was in his shoes, I wouldn't want to be assisted in my passage. On his last day, he was clearly struggling and I was distraught at the thought of his passage. As I was struggling with difficult thoughts about the sanctity of life, how one should transition to death, whether another ultrasound or an operation would help....all the thoughts one would have about a human being,

From Chrysalis to Butterfly - the Wonders of Nature

The cycle of life is amazing! Just look at the awesome transformation of the Monarch butterfly.
Our Monarch butterfly in Chrysalis form.

The transformation.

Our beautiful butterfly.